The Cook

Starring Mark Hengst, Kit Paquin and Makinna Ridgeway, this movie is an hour and twenty-two minutes long.  It is rated R for language, violence and sexuality involving nudity.

This movie is set in a sorority that is in desperate need for a cook.  It finds a temporary cook, a nice looking man from Hungry, and yes several jokes are made about the Hungry Cook.  The sorority sisters are sexually charged and most of them seem to lean towards a lesbian way of life, although a few of them are switch hitters.  They are pretty much all slutty girls, with two exceptions, the smart girl who has sex with no one and the religious virginal girl who doesn’t eat meat and gets tempted by a life of spankings.  The cook however has a surprise, and the girls never know, even though some of their sisters dissappear and their meat packed dishes are so good yet the meat is much a mystery.

This movie could have been fun, and there were times when I laughed.  There was one scene especially that set two scenes together, one from a Friday the 13th movie and one from this, referring them together.  It was fun and funny because while watching it I wasn’t sure what would happen, if the girl would get away or not.  The scenes were pretty much lacking in dialogue or acting and relied mostly on the nudity of the girls involved.  Which is fine if that is the kind of movie you want, but unfortunate if you want a “different” horror film.  This movie wasn’t much of a horror or a suspensful film.

Predictibly many of the girls died, and the ending was so obvious that I almost didn’t watch it.  However I did, just to see if I was right about it, and surprise, I was.  I was dissappointed because this could have been an interesting movie, in the lines of Rest Stop or Wolf Creek.  Instead the movie relied more on nudity than story.

I don’t reccommend that anyone see this movie, unless you want a porn, because basically that is what this is.  A bad porn because there isn’t any actual pictures of sex, just “sexual” scenes.  This movie isn’t good, but it isn’t horrible.  If you are looking for a scary movie don’t see this one.

3 thoughts on “The Cook”

  1. You state that the film isn’t horrible. Half of a star is horrible in my eyes. Anyways, your review is enough to keep me from it unless a review copy is sent to me and I am forced to watch it. You also said that you laughed. Upon reading your review, it is hard to tell if this was suppose to be a horror comedy or if the laughs were unintentional. Some constructive critisim: go into more depth about the film (maybe add a subgenre to your review). Are those who like horror comedies like Hatchet and Tripper going to enjoy it or does it try to be scary and end up funny?

  2. It wasn’t horrible and got half a star because parts of it were funny. That’s all, the comedy of parts of it earned it half a star. The laughs were intentional in some of the parts, but I am pretty sure at least on of the parts wasn’t supposed to be funny. Plus if I had gone into any more depth I would have given everything away, I mean there isn’t much I could say if I didn’t want to give away who died and who didn’t. Don’t want things to be too obvious. I didn’t like either Hatchet or Tripper, but at least they were better than this one. This was more like the remake of the Hills Have Eyes, with more gore and less good characters to root for. I mean there wasn’t even a dog to root for in this one like there was in The Hills Have Eyes.

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