Title: Shark Night 3D
Studio/Distributor: Rogue Pictures/Relativity Media
Cast: Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack, Katharine McPhee, Chris Zylka, Alyssa Diaz, Joel David Moore, Sinqua Walls, Donal Logue, Joshua Leonard, Jimmy Lee Jr., Damon Lipari, Christine Quinn, Kelly Sry, Tyler Bryan
Director: David R. Ellis
Writer(s): Will Hayes, Jesse Studenberg
Synopsis: A group of college friends go on a trip to a waterfront cabin in Louisiana for a weekend of fun & sun, only to fall prey to a horde of sharks wrangled by a pair of psychotic rednecks.
Bottom Line: When I first saw the trailer for “Shark Night 3D”, I thought to myself that this looked like bloody gruesome fun. Then, I saw it and I thought to myself, “This would’ve been bloody gruesome fun if it actually wasn’t so tame & boring”. The horror cliches are all over the place in this one: the pretty-kids-go-on-vacation-in-a-secluded-area-where-bad-things-start-to-happen cliche, the psychotic hillbilly cliche, the flesh-eating-sea-monster cliche, they’re all there and then some. Not to mention, you start to notice the opening scene is eerily similar to a certain shark movie that’s considered to be a classic all over the world. That’s right. The opening scene where a hot bikini-clad woman plays around with her boyfriend only to be eaten by a shark moments after her boyfriend disappears on her is exactly what in the iconic opening scene from “Jaws”, the more superior shark movie. Our young leads try hard enough to make you believe that they’re freaked out and only two of them succeed: McPhee (who plays Beth) & Diaz (who plays the girlfriend of the athlete Malik played by Walls). Other than that, the story is just too hard to believe. How can freshwater sharks swim in a saltwater lake? How did a pair of backwoods hicks get their hands on them? And most importantly, why these guys don’t assume that things are wrong in the water to begin with? Frankly, the only redeeming qualities of this American International Pictures wannabe is the fact that some of the 3D scenes are actually good and there’s an after-credits scene at the end where the cast raps about the entire story in a nutshell in what could easily be a contender for best after-credits coda of 2011, considering that it won’t possibly top “Thor” or “Captain America” but still. In spite of those saving graces, “Shark Night 3D” absolutely, positively fails its own expectations. Besides, I liked it a little more when it was “Jaws”, “Deep Blue Sea” & “Piranha 3D”. Check those out instead of shelling out the $10 to see this one-dimensional, 3D fish tale.