Pirates of the Caribbean is one of my favorite franchises. I loved all three films immensely. The combination of witty humor and swashbuckling action made for a glorious ride that I still hop on over and over because it’s such a joy to behold. So obviously, when they announced a fourth instalment, I was thrilled. The idea of Captain Jack Sparrow in our lives again was a treat we looked forward to like a child promised cake when he gets home. And that’s where Disney screwed us. So long as they were dangling Jack in front of us like the proverbial carrot, we didn’t look too close at the rest of the ads to see what was missing. Now, we knew Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly would not be reprising their roles as Will and Elizabeth, after all, their story was told and no more need be said. We see Barbosa and Gibbs in the commercial, so we think: Great! They still have the rest of the cast, this is going to be awesome! No, I’m sorry, but we have great parting gifts for you. Strangely enough, those three characters are the only ones who return. Gone are Marty the little pirate who got thrown fifty feet every time he shot his blunderbuss, gone is Mr. Cotton the mute and his talking parrot, No sign of Pintel and Ragetti, the two bumbling pirates who tried so hard and fell so short over and over throughout all three films. Even Murtogg and Mullroy, the easily distracted guards who jumped ship and turned pirate at the end of film 3 and nowhere to be found. We don’t even get the Black Pearl. In essence, Disney decided to save money by recasting the whole lot with two crews, one a lot of British soldiers who are so cookie cutter that you can’t even tell them apart and a few lack luster easily forgettable pirates who sail under Blackbeard. At any rate, I’m getting ahead of myself so let me reel it in, tell you about the movie, and then I’ll bring it all together in the end. Savvy?
When we last saw Jack (there should be a Captain in there somewhere) Sparrow, (Johnny Depp) he was in a rowboat on his way to seek the fountain of youth. Historically, (for those of you who slept through History) the fountain of youth was a story told to Ponce de Leon by the natives, claiming anyone who drank the waters would be young again. He sailed to Florida, discovered mainland USA, but no fountain. This film picks up several years after the last with Jack in London, finding himself in prison with Gibbs and hearing stories that he is recruiting a crew. After one of the most hilarious and outrageous escapes he has pulled off to date, he confronts his imposter to discover it is an old flame of his, Angelica (Penelope Cruz). She manages to outwit Jack and so he finds himself serving onboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge, Blackbeard’s (Ian McShane) ship. Blackbeard is intent on finding the fountain of youth because a foretelling claimed he would lose his life in a fortnight by a one-legged man. Meanwhile, Barbosa (Geoffery Rush), who lost his leg when Blackbeard attacked the Pearl, sets off to find the fountain for King George before the Spanish can claim it. This leads to a three-way race to not just get to the fountain, but also to procure the items needed for the ritual. Apparently, the way the fountain works is that two special silver goblets need to be filled with water from the fountain, and the tear of a mermaid be added to one. Two men drink and the one with the tear siphons the life from the other proving once again that nothing is free. Of course in order to get a mermaid’s tear, one must capture a mermaid.
The film has all of the action and excitement of previous installments in the Pirates franchise, but due to the lack of the characters I mentioned before, it’s missing some life. That lighthearted fun that permeated the other films is missing here. Naturally Johnny Depp loves the character of Jack Sparrow so much that he slides into it without effort and it’s a blast to watch him at work. Depp alone could carry this franchise forever, it just happens to be even better with the whole crew. Barbosa comes across as a man haunted and tired, and doesn’t really seem his same old self until the end of the film. McShane is an incredible actor, but his Blackbeard is far too quiet and gentle. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a menacing and evil man, but Blackbeard should be boisterous, loud and more full of himself. After all, he did become the world’s most famous pirate through self promotion. The romance in this feature is lackluster. You never really believe there are feelings between Sparrow and Angelica, as they turn against each other every five minutes. The real romance seems to bloom between the mermaid and a young missionary on board the ship, but even that is muted and seems thrown in merely to get the plot moving. What saves this film in the end is the action. The scene when they fish for mermaids is pure gold. If you’ve ever watched River Monsters or similar shows about fish, you would believe in these mermaids. The way they move, attack, leap and churn the water is special effects magic. The sword fights (and there are many) may not be as imaginative as before but are dynamic and fun. In the end, one must try to forget the first three films and enjoy this movie on its own merit, for it is an enjoyable feature, but it looses a lot in comparison.
Final word: Should see in Action Adventure.