John Carter-Review

Civil war vet, John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is on the search for treasure. His search is cut short when Captain Powell (Bryan Cranston) wants to force him to rejoin the army to fight against the Indians. John gives his refusal with multiple attempted escapes until he is caught again and the men run into a group of hostile Indians. John takes Powell-who becomes injured-to a cave where a majestic man appears out of thin air. The man accidentally grabs John and he is transported to Mars. After being captured by tall barbarians-who are at war with Sab Than (Dominic West), John tries to escape but he doesn’t know where to go on a foreign planet. John find a princess named Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins) to be in danger and he jumps to save her. What has spared his life from the barbarians is that he is the only one on the planet that can jump like he is flying and they want to use that advantage to defeat Sab, who is looking to destroy every kingdom and village on Mars. Will John fight for the aliens? How will he get back to Earth?

 

Review:

 

            Well, first off, I did not like this film, not one part. For the amount of money they spent making it, every second felt like a waste. For one, in the beginning before John arrives at Mars, the people are speaking American. What? Really! How am I supposed to get into the story and/or fantasy if it starts out with the characters talking and looking like humans? Couldn’t they make them look a little different, like having three eyes or something to make me believe it? Come on makeup crew! Second, John brings a new meaning to arrogance. I understand if it is part of his personality but it was just sad and boring. For instance, before arriving to Mars he is held captive by four men. Although they surround him, he keeps trying to jump through a window. That goes on about four times until they knocked him out; a waste of film. Another thing I absolutely hated is why on MARS does Princess Dejah have a British accent when she is from MARS? Omgoodness, are they serious with this? I know that I am focusing on small parts but the small parts in a film are what makes and breaks a movie to me. The cgi was weak. The dialogue, as you may have already guessed, was stupid and pointless. The plot took too long to go anywhere interesting. All in all, I will never see this film again.

Rating: 1 star

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