Man, where do I even begin? Well, let’s just say that some movies are better left unmade. And I’m saying this in the nicest way possible.
I gotta admit, I was wrong. After seeing the disastrous 1997 “Batman & Robin”, I had thought that I would never come across a worse superhero action flick. Guess the joke’s on me. “Green Hornet”, I can guarantee you, is unlike anything remotely similar to a superhero film. And that, unfortunately, is what nailed the movie to the coffin.
To be fair, I’d like to point out that the fault for this film’s failure isn’t entirely the producer’s. Whoever came up with the idea that every single comic book makes a great movie needs a huge wake-up call. “Green Hornet” falls within the category of those in favor of style over substance. In fact, the story we are being presented here is a disgrace to for Columbia Pictures. It lacks the wittiness of “Iron Man”, nor does it has the charm of “The Incredible Hulk”, and it became clear twenty minutes into the film that it can’t take itself seriously, at all. One may argue that the movie was meant to be a comedy. Perhaps, except that the film wasn’t that funny either.
Sean Rogan plays Britt Reid, a wealthy, spoiled son of a businessman. Upon his father’s death, he comes up with an idea of serving justice by posting as villains. Together, he teams up with martial artist Kato (Jay Chou) and gives himself the alias, The Green Hornet.
Now, I don’t mean to be rude, but that is the most absurd and pointless plot I’ve ever heard. It’s funny how the Green Hornet is supposed to be the hero of the movie, but Britt Reid has nothing but a huge temper. It’s sad that the film failed to give the audience what they want from the action flick. Through out the film, the Hornet doesn’t save anyone, instead he spends his time gaining attention for himself and wooing the sexy secretary/female lead played by Cameron Diaz, who really shouldn’t have been in the movie. I mean, seriously, even Bruce Wayne knows his limit.
The one biggest problem I had with the film was, perhaps, the film itself. It feels outrageous lazy and choppy. The numerous, overlong, slow-mo high tech chases reminded me of those cheesy children’s commercials back in the 90s, where a bunch of six and seven year olds were seen holding toy racing cars and yelling, “Ooos” and “Ahhs” every five seconds. They never had any production value; all they did was to make money for the manufacturer. And guess what, so does “The Green Hornet”.
A 120 million worth of budget wasted on cheesy special effects was perhaps not the smartest move a movie company can make. But they did anyway. And look at how they ended up. But then again, boring and tedious aren’t always a bad thing. They gave us another reason to laugh at the movie, not with it.