Machete | Action | rated R (A,L,N,S,V,G) | starring Danny Trejo, Jeff Fahey, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert DeNiro, Steven Segal, Lindsey Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson | directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis | 1:45 mins
An ex-federale (Danny Trejo), burned by a Mexican drug cartel finds himself 3 years later working as a day laborer in America. In an election year where a politician (Robert DeNiro) has gripped the people with fear of illegal immigrants, “Machete” is recruited to to take out the senator running for re-election. Set up, double crossed and left for dead, Machete goes on a bloody, limb-hacking spree of revenge with only babes (Jessica Alba as an ICE officer), his favorite weapon and a vast underground network of illegal aliens (led by Michelle Rodriguez) by his side.
Birthed from the seed of an absolutely hilarious 3-minute fake trailer that opened Robert Rodriguez and Quintin Tarantino’s wonderful, criminally misunderstood Grindhouse, Machete is pure Rodriguez – a just right mix of cheesy one-liners, hero worship, outrageous violence and imagination in the same vein as his campy-to-perfection grindhouse offering Planet Terror. Machete is a dream come true for those of us who watched The Simpsons as teenagers and always thought a real full-length “McBain” movie would be terrific fun. It’s also going to be delicious fun for those like Rodriguez and Tarantino who long for the days of sneaking into theaters as children and catching schlocky grindhouse movies.
Simply put, if you liked the fake Grindhouse trailer, you’ll love the movie. It’s as close to successfully manufacturing camp as I’ve ever seen. Rodriguez succeeds where commercialized camp like Snakes on a Plane and Eight-Legged Freaks failed. It’s even more viciously loony fun than the recent drive-in monster movie Piranha 3D. Rodriguez has a fond memory of his inspiration here. Using the trashy staples of the grindhouse action movie (and many from mainstream 80s tough guy flicks), he spins his own tale pumping up Danny Trejo as the ultimate Mexican badass, a hero more legend than man with a reputation that proceeds him. It’s funny the way Trejo is barely given a paragraph of dialog here and the movie itself falls at his feet, idolizing his quiet awesomeness. He knows the score.
Machete is simply a macho movie delight, executed with a full-throttle imagination. All the action movie cliches are gloriously accounted for, from Machete’s ill-fated partner to his effortless ability to get women to a perfectly convoluted story. Taking these elements Rodriguez constructs a hypothetical “Mexisploitation” movie – if Grindhouse movies were around today – where Mexican day laborers must rebel against The Man’s oppression and all of the racial epithets involve burritos, nachos and Frito Bandito. Rodriguez takes this idea around the block in a low-rider and back again.
He also uses this opportunity to throw himself right in the middle of the issue of illegal immigration, which at this time is a hot button political issue. He begins with a demonization of “Minute Men”-type vigilantes and there are a few speeches about following the law and following what’s right sprinkled here and there, but mostly Machete is an F-you to politicians, pundits and anyone taking the topic seriously. As said, it gets so ridiculous (wonderfully so) before it’s all over that it’s impossible to take seriously. Rodriguez plays it like a devilish little kid who just delights in flicking the ears of the stuffed shirt crowd.
Rodriguez goes on over-kill in the grand finale, corralling all of his creations into a final battle. His desire to give everyone their big Moment makes for a clustered, messy ending that is almost too much of a good thing. Leaving a few sub-plots out, like Lindsey Lohan’s utterly worthless revenge storyline, would have done the movie good. It isn’t quite as sharp and focused as Planet Terror. In fact, Michelle Rodriguez’s arc recalls the superior turns of Johnny Depp in Once Upon a Time in Mexico and Rose McGowen’s still classic character from Terror. But it is hilarious, one of the funniest movie’s I’ve seen this year. From the first appearance of Steven Segal as a Mexican drug lord to Machete swinging through a window with a most unlikely teather to the army of low riders with hydrolics he leads to the final show down. Machete is a trashy, campy cineaphile’s delight that left my face sore with laughter afterwards. Terrific.