“Let’s start with forever.”
Unfortunately for you, the reader, I missed my opportunity to warn you about the latest Twilight movie. If you went to see the movie thinking that it would be good, I’m sorry. I let you down by not taking the bullet. If you went to the movie and enjoyed it, well, I am also sorry, but for different reasons. Nevertheless, I bit the bullet anyway. I saw this movie, and somehow, lived to tell about it. Yes, all the worst characteristics of the previous movies are still here; gag-inducing acting, so-bad-you’ll-die-laughing dialogue, soap-opera-like over dramatization, and the crude attempts at special effects and production values. This time though, its all turned up another notch. It’s almost as if the producers are aware that there is only one film left, and so the time to play it safe has passed. Now that they know it will make a ridiculous amount of money, they decide they can go all in. Dump the entire bucket of crazy in there and let’s see what happens.
Story: Edward and Bella are getting married. Yeah, Bella is only 18, and just finished high school, but who cares? Also, Jacob is very mad because, of course, no one asked him if it would be ok. Instead he has turned into an outcast amongst his pack, filled with three previous movies/books worth of rage and hate. So Edward and Bella get married, and then go on a honeymoon and have some PG-13 sex. Jacob cries and bangs his fists. Then takes his shirt off. Now Bella is pregnant and her vampire baby is killing her from the inside. Will it succeed, or will the werewolves, angry with the cross-breeding between man and vampire finish her off first?…At least something happened in this one…Bad (10/25)
Acting: It takes a viewer with stone-cold resolve to make it through this movie without laughing at the horrible acting. I don’t know what is worse, the complete lack of chemistry between the two leads, or the fact that this film lacks any emotion at all from its cast. Even the wedding scene is shrug inducing because not only does it feel incredibly fake, but the actors don’t seem comfortable with what they are doing. Kristen Stewart tries to make you feel sorry for her by staring deep into space, keeping her mouth open, and wincing a lot, but that doesn’t work. Robert Patterson literally does nothing the entire movie and Taylor Lautner is just mad. Hilariously mad. Horrible (8/25)
Direction: Director Bill Condon has directed Chicago and Kinsley. What is he doing directing this film? Good question. The script is so poor that there is very little for him to work with, but I must say that of all the films this one is the strongest in the direction department. The backgrounds actually look good. And the action, while downright weird at times, is at least followable. Okay (17/25)
Special Effects/X-Factor: The best part of this movie is the fact that there will (hopefully) only be one more. Otherwise, it sets itself apart from the other films by being weirder and a little crazy at times. Plus there’s all that anticipation for that big sex scene (maybe that’s why they hired this director….). Bad (11/25)
The Verdict: (46/100) = F (Run Away…Far Away!)
- The Good: It’s not as boring as the last movie, they take some risks with this one.
- The Bad: The script and acting are as bad as ever, at times the film is just downright bizarre, and there is no emotion at all despite all the attempts to create such.
Summary: Unintentionally hilarious!
He’s so angry!
If you liked this review, I suggest: Rated: Twilight Saga – Eclipse (2010)
My previous review: Rated: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Find me on Facebook @ Rated: GSP
Great review! I am a huge Twilight fan and I completely agree with you. This film was horrible. It was like Stephanie didn’t care that they butchered her book with the terrible script of empty emotions and cheap soap opera scenes. Compared to the book, they changed too much. I mean it is to be expected because they have to draw in the crowd but it was over done. The Harry Potter films, I love because it looks like J.K. put her foot down many times to stick as close to the books as possible and it was a success. Unfortunately, I will be watching the last Twilight even though I’m not looking forward to it.
I totally disagree about the review mainly because I have read the books and the parts that they captured were very much close to the books, and I didn’t find the acting bad at all and I am not a fan of the actors at all. In the direction I agree that the director of this movie did a better job with this one, so I must say I disagree completely!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for your comment on my comment. I respect your opinion but come on didn’t Edward not look like himself anymore- more like a Hollywood diva? I have read the books twice and I love Edward but this film did not capture the proper scenes from it. Also, in the book the wolves and the vampires never fight and the scene was boring and dull. The only part the movie did good by the book was Bella’s transformation during pregnancy, which was nicely done. I also agree with GSP, what’s with Bella and all the whinning? Lame. I guess we will have to agree to disagree. Take care.