Just like Jaws did for the ocean, and Psycho did for showers, maybe The Children will do for family gatherings.
Let’s be honest, who doesn’t groan like a dying man when they discover it’s their auntie’s birthday or cousin’s baptism and you have to cancel your exciting saturday night plans to sit in the pub moaning about bad movies with your friends? Instead you have to wash for the first time that month, wear something other than those ripped jeans and that pizza-soiled t-shirt you feel so comfy in, pretend you prefer unbranded supermarket lemonade to a perfectly-poured pint of Guinness, and then sit by yourself while all those unruly children run about screaming and making a mess and giving everyone a headache. Yuck. Family gatherings are the absolute worst.
In The Children there is a family gathering at Christmas time in the English countryside, and the mean-spirited cynic in this example is Chloe (Rachel Shelley), who manages to fake manners better than I ever could, and she’s a lot easier on the eye too.
Chloe’s family are a regular, if slightly eccentric, bunch (is that an oxymoron?). She flirts with her step-uncle, her dad won’t shut up about business opportunities in China, and the kids are the weirdest ones you’ve ever seen.
And then we realise that they’re not (just) being brats, they’ve become infected with some kind of virus, and thus begins one of the most original and creepy horror films I’ve seen in a long time.
Whilst it starts off more subtle and sinister, as the film progresses the children’s behaviour becomes more violent; but since this is a horror film and adults are dumb, it takes most of them a little too long to realise that their lives are in danger.
If you can’t handle gore, then this isn’t the movie for you. And if the idea of seeing young children stalk and kill their parents bothers you, then don’t watch this. If you don’t think you can handle a film where adults, in explicit detail, kill these ghastly children, then I suggest you stay away!
From scalps being shredded to faces being impaled with glass, you get it all in The Children.
And unlike with so many horror films these days, the violence in The Children supplements the horror, and doesn’t simply replace it. This isn’t the torture porn genre where the producers are just trying to come up with the most ridiculous and gory deaths imaginable – with artistic licence, and the obvious suspension of belief, this is actually pretty realistic.
Unfortunately some of the action sequences are so badly put together that you can barely tell what’s happening. One second Casey and her mother are hiding in the shed from crazy kids, the next the mother is running away and Casey is attacking a tent with a claw, and then they’re both back hiding in the shed. It makes no sense, and really distracts the viewer from any claustrophobic terror they may be experiencing.
And as with any good horror film you’ll scream “Why would you do that??” more than once as you watch this movie. A bizarre climbing frame scene springs to mind, where an adult is stupidly coaxed into climbing the steps to get to one of the children, instead of just safely dragging him off from a standing position.
There are also plenty of silly moments such as where one of the killers (in this case, obviously a child) is disarmed but not killed or even tied up. Or worse, when a guy abandons his wife with a broken leg while the house is being slowly penetrated by the attackers. I wouldn’t leave my poor wife alone in a house with even remotely annoying children, let alone rabid murderous ones.
Despite its flaws, The Children is one of the most memorable and creative horror films I’ve seen in a long time. It should have been better, especially with regards to the quick action sequences, but overall it’s a success.
The violence was horrific, the acting was mostly solid, the tension builds wonderfully, and the ending isn’t a big letdown with a stupid “twist”.
And the kids were creepy as hell. Seeing them get their bratty little heads smashed in was fantastic. I know it isn’t the norm to have children die in films, but this flick doesn’t let up for a moment. You get to see it in all its barbaric glory. If you can handle that, then enjoy!
I give The Children SEVEN slaps across the backside for behaving like brats out of TEN.
I too really enjoyed the movie and it certainly made me with any toddlers a wide berth in the street for several weeks. You definately paid good attention to the movie to spot the blurred action sequences, as when I watched it I just put it down to the film-making techniques. Good review, very persuasive if people feel like watching a good old-school modern horror.
Thank you, I appreciate it!
I’m glad you enjoyed the movie too, it’s a shame it isn’t more well known. As you say regarding avoiding toddlers in the street, this is a great film not just because it is entertaining but because it stays with you for a while afterwards.