Beowulf Movie Poster Beowolf                          






Ray Winstone says,  “I am Beowulf” and you better believe it. Prepare for 115 minutes of medieval melodrama starring an all-star cast of Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich, Robin Wright Penn and Angelina Jolie. 


Outside on the cold of the Denmark coast all is chilled dark and silent, this is diametrically inverse to the raucous merrymaking inside the Kings royal Dining Hall where the celebrations are commencing. Meanwhile inside a dank derelict cave a Troll named Grendel (Crispin Glover) with a tumorous ear agonizes over the noise that irritates his solace. In a rage he alights inside the Dining hall slaughtering the celebrators. The only thing that brings the carnage to a halt is the King’s (Anthony Hopkins) challenge. The previously inebriated King gallantly stairs the troll in the eye and challenges Grendel, but Grendel absconds- disappearing back into the cave from which he came. Back in the lair Grendel is reprimanded by his mother and his mother asks if he harmed Hrothgar and Grendel replies, “no”. 


We alight on the snow covered shores of Denmark. The great monster slayer Beowulf (Ray Winstone) has been summoned by King Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins) to rid his kingdom of the murdering troll Grendel (Crispin Glover). Grendel plagues the dining hall and massacres the merrymakers whenever he hears the sound of music and dancing. Upon Beowulf’s arrival a celebration is held to draw the vile creature to the hall so that Beowulf can slaughter the dreaded Grendel. Upon arriving Beowulf is inadvertently drawn to the refreshing insipid beauty of Queen Wealtheow (Robin Wright Penn) who seems to be averse to the king’s attempts to be intimate, even spitting in the drunken kings face. After the celebration is ended Beowulf awaits his pray, preferring to fight in the nude (We don’t see any nudity here that I recall) without a weapon so as to be equal to the opponent. After being defeated single handedly by the mighty Beowulf the wounded Grendel nearing death arrives back at the cave and is swooned by his mother who grieves over her dying son. Upon the Death of Grendel Beowulf is awarded a golden cup that the king bestows upon Beowulf. Although the King is pleased the king is still restless and afraid and requests the killing of Grendel’s mother. Miffed, but ready for the fight Beowulf departs towards the lair of Grendel’s mother (Angelina Jolie). 


Virulent Vixen  










Beowulf is surprised by what he finds, Beowulf does not find an ugly troll propagator, but rather a beautiful women covered in dripping gold. She asks him to give her a son- being that he has killed her Grendel and that the rewards would be a life of glory and honor. As any knightly / he- man medieval character may be, Beowulf is seduced by the monster in disguise. Back at the castle, the king is skeptical as to the death of Grendel’s mother. The king presumptuously concludes that as he had been so seduced, so has Beowulf and that Grendel’s mother is not dead. Laughing hysterically he pronounces Beowulf king and jumps from the balcony… What follows is a feast for the eyes in this thespian/action thriller. No other actress could perform the roll of Grendel’s mother like the arousing coy Angelina Jolie. She brings a virulent toxic aura to this movie that will make you embarrassed when you start blushing and looking around yourself to see if you are being watched.Ray Winstone brings the hero to the big screen in a fashion reminiscent of Charlton Heston, but Ray winstone sounds less like an oracle and more like a herculean character of sorts that dropped from the sky to render eye for eye justice. 


Sit back and enjoy this feast for the eyes in this movie of medieval mayhem and romance that will engross your being in a world past. If you like this movie I would recommend King Arthur, another medieval flick. 

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