Movie Review: 10,000 BC

When 10,000 BC hit theaters it was trashed by outraged historians and critics alike over its complete misrepresentation of real history; places, people, and creatures. Hey, people! It’s a movie!

10,000 BC was directed by acclaimed director Roland Emmerich who has directed such hits as: The Day After Tomorrow, The Patriot, Independence Day, Stargate, and my favorite: Universal Soldier. The movie stars mainly unknowns as far as Hollywood stars go, though I did recognize Cliff Curtis in a supporting role; which made things silly seeing him in dreads and acting all cave man-ish. I would give the lead actor a shout out, but call me the lazy reviewer not wanting to look him up or even what his character’s name was; they all had non-memorable names.

The plot: a tribe finds they are having a hard time keeping food in stock every year and an old lady in the tribe says that one of their young men will grow up to save them and fall in love with the blue-eyed girl they found in the mountains. Well, the girl is kidnapped and the young man who loves her goes on the quest to track her down and save his people.

The action moments involving CGI and big animals such as killer birds, a saber toothed tiger, and mammoths are the best parts and yet equally silly at times. If they could have kept more of this action in the movie it would have been a bit better really; weird to hear me calling for more CGI. The saber toothed tiger needed more screen time for sure. Another odd thing is the narrator throughout the story did not bother me either. In fact, overall I would say forget the stupid historians and critics, this is a mindless flick and easy watching for the most part.

Now let me pick on it a bit. The logical errors are many, one example: the lead guy climbs a wall and drops into the prison of some captives to tell them they will be rescued. When guards start coming near them he bounds back over the wall. The prisoners are not in shackles, why couldn’t they have just bounded over the wall the entire time? Another issue I had with the flick is that these tribesmen fight giant mammoths and other bizarre animals, yet when the bad guys come riding in on horses they call them four legged demons and are scared of them. How the hell is a horse more scary than a giant elephant creature? Why couldn’t they figure out what a horse was? The hit and miss instances of gullibility of the people populating this fictional world of historical inaccuracies gets annoying and seems like the writer’s were mis-matched and lazy in plotting. Another annoying thing to the story was all of the cutting back to the Old Woman in the tribe as the adventurers go through trials, she sits at home and moans a bunch and every time there is action we go back and watch her moan.

If you want a mindless rental, with some interesting action moments, this is an okay movie overall; a movie!

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