Tell Your Classmates!

Recently I was told about this school, SUNY: Purchase College, a self-proclaimed “liberal arts” school, which, in my opinion infers a thinly disguised socialist, anti-patriotic institution, doing its best to corrupt the minds of eager, impressionable youths. With its lax morals and radical ideals, this state school has made itself open to the perils of alcohol and drug abuse. Normally, I would not openly challenge anything governmentally endorsed, but with the nation in such a precarious position, it is up to every citizen to point out when he or she witnesses loose principles.

It is because of this “liberality” that I find it imperative to encourage the students of this college to attend the screening of the recent Showtime film Reefer Madness: the Movie Musical, a remake of the classic 1936, fictionalized portrayal of the dangers of marijuana use, which rivals that of heroine, cocaine, and fornication. This film seeks to enlighten its viewers about the dangers the cannabis drug holds for adolescents and adults alike, with exciting musical numbers to add emphasis where needed.

Alan Cumming, a talented, versatile actor, with undoubtedly high morals, portrays a prophetic figure that provides important information about marijuana to alert parents, in much the same way that the Purchase Film Society members are good enough to inform their fellow students. Cumming’s character presents the true story of the degradation of star-crossed lovers who fall into the hands of shady dope peddlers. Kristin Bell, Christian Campbell, Ana Gasteyer, and Steven Weber also star in this informative docu-drama.

The film does an admirably job of adding humor to the story, which the original sadly lacked, in an effort to attract a younger demographic. Some of the lines are purposefully passé, such as “shake a wicked calf,” “hip cat,” “doll face,” and “take it on the heel.” Despite these dated colloquialisms, the message is still the same as it was in1936: Marijuana kills!

It is because of this imperative message that we can look past some of the more controversial material in the film. There is some allusion to murder, incest, premarital French-kissing, as well as depictions of Satan sodomizing a young girl and Jesus Christ performing a lounge act, but, it is all for the cause.

Some people have said that this film is actually satirizing the original film, going to the extreme right in order to portray the 1930’s mentality as behind the times and confused, as well as misguided and ignorant. They say that marijuana is actually safer than, say, alcohol or, even, cigarettes, which cause cancer nowadays. However, I believe that it was the scheme of the filmmakers to con lefties into thinking the film is on their side, so they will go see it, and not snub it in their close-mindedness.Reefer Madness: the Movie Musical will be shown February 12, at 9 p.m., in the Student Center. Be sure you and your friends are in attendance; your eternal soul may depend on this knowledge.